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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Measuring Guilt

I am in Europe as snow is dumped on Montreal, raising the question of how guilty I should feel about my wife having to handle it without me.  So, I came up a new unit for guilt--the JGN--the Jewish Grandmother Nag.  1 JGN would be "Stephen, I bought some ice cream, would you like some."  A second JGN "Stephen, I went to the store especially for you" would be 2 JGNs.  A follow up of "It was raining/snowing" would make it five JGNs.  The total experience might be eight JGNs. 

The next task then is to figure out how much snow is equal to 1 JGN.  Again, this adds up, so 5 cms or about 2 inches are probably 1 JGN; 10 cms or 4 inches is about 3 JGNs, 20cms or 8 inches are about 7 JGNs.  So what does this mean?  I am screwed. 

Of course, the problem with JGN's is that if I have earned a debt of about five or ten JGN's, how do I pay that off?  How do I feel less guilty?   Any suggestions are appreciated. 

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