Another Cycle Around the Sun

The funny thing about getting older, at least for me, is that I start rounding up far sooner than I used to.  So, I have been thinking I am the age I am today for quite some time, which softens the blow, I guess.  I don't mind getting older--the alternative sucks mightily.  I am now clearly closer to the end than the beginning, but that does not bother me so much.  Especially as I am, with two key exceptions, happier than I have been.  One exception is that I realized that I have not seen my kid, Hollywood Entry-Level Executive Assistant Spew, since last winter break (see the other one below). Other than that, things are good, really good.

Getting funded means great
organizational meeting dinners!

I am looking at a very, very crushed August given what I have left to do before the students return. But that is largely due to two dynamics this summer--getting the big grant which has required much work to set up the Canadian Defence and Security Network (including the launch of #BattleRhythm, our podcast) and a heap of travel--Berlin in May for research, Lisbon and Paris in June for two conferences with Barcelona to mark time in between, and then the Israel trip. 

I have taken a retired Canadian general's words to heart--to declare success.  Easier to do, of course, when the big grant effort, years in the making, pays off, of course.  But I have tried to adopt this perspective for the past few years, and it has been working out for me.  I don't believe that "comparison is the thief of joy" because I do love to compare so much, but I have tried to tame envy and jealousy.  I have accepted that there are always bigger fish, and that I am just very, very comfortable in the pond in which I swim these days. 

I have accepted, for instance, that when I am one of the best players on my frisbee teams, then my team is probably not going to do that well.  I still have most of my throws (I cannot throw it as long as I used to be), but my defense, which was only average or adequate at its best is now not even that.  I can get open on offense only if the hyper-athletic young guy defending me is not vigilant.  The question right now is whether I have a frisbee future, as a nagging Achilles strain has ended my summer season.  I will work on it to try to come back next spring, taking the fall and winter seasons off with much regret, but this very important part of my life may be coming to an end.  That I haven't accepted quite yet. 

I look back on my strange, completely unplanned and unanticipated journey--from the East Coast to Oberlin to San Diego to Vermont to Lubbock to the Pentagon to Montreal to Ottawa--and have realized that while I was not always happy about the situation I was in, I got something valuable from each.  I don't regret being a deadman walking twice in my life--teaching a second year at UVM after losing out on their job search the previous year, teaching an entire year at McGill after taking the net job--although it produced some awkward moments.  While I insult Lubbock and TTU on a regular basis, it was where my daughter was born with the baby ER so conveniently close to where we lived, it is where I had some of my greatest research success (not too many distractions), and it is where I felt I really belonged as one of the many POWs seeking to escape Stalag 13 (and, yes, I am old enough to keep on making Hogan's Heroes references that the kids won't get).  While I say unkind things about Quebec, I loved Montreal and most of my time there, the students were phenomenal, and I miss the folks who were hired the same year as me and those hired after me (no, I don't miss the folks who were full profs when I was there).  I miss the ultimate community as I felt more integrated there despite my lack of French than I do in the Ottawa leagues. 

I am pretty sure that Ottawa is the last stop, as I am very happy, and I know that I am not going to get a better offer (not a great bargaining stance to get a raise from Carleton, but the Dean here is smart on such stuff anyway).  The big remaining career question is whether retire on time or later than that.  We shall see how much I enjoy, um, grading and meetings when the time comes.  I just know that my next seven years will be occupied and delightfully so with the CDSN's own battle rhythms of podcasting, event planning, fund-raising, partner engaging, and, yes, heaps of meetings.  Oh, and finishing the Dave and Phil and Steve book in the next couple of years before getting really started on the Steve and Ora project. 

Thanks to my virtual friends out there in twitterland, to the followers of this blog, and, of course, to all my friends I made along the way.  I keep on adding new ones and have not alienated too many old ones this year.  We shall see whether I can keep that up in the year ahead.