That certainly spins one's usual view around. I always identified with Rudolph not so much because of our red noses but because he was left out of the various reindeer games: antler archery, snow fighting, grand theft sled, elf chasing, and so on. Like many teenagers, I felt left out. And I never got over it. Perhaps because I went to a grad school that was not so well networked (the profs where, the students not so much in my time), those feelings were reinforced. So, when I get asked to join a particular group, such as bloggers at Duck of Minerva or Political Violence at a Glance, I pretty much always say yes.
This tweet got me thinking just a bit:
Oh, sure, the reindeer loved Rudolph once they figured out he was extraordinary, and the boss's favorite.
— Matt Zoller Seitz (@mattzollerseitz) December 16, 2013
The time has probably come to get over it. I mean, grad school and walking around conferences looking for someone I recognized is now a half a lifetime ago. Folks look to me as someone with networks and, dare I say it, privilege. I have started taking seriously the idea that I should declare success and move on, so I will try to emulate Rudolph and soar ahead, leaving behind the resentments of old exclusion.
And I will start saying no when invited to do stuff. My juggling act is a mess these days with balls and pins scattered everywhere. My big resolution for 2014 is try to balance all of the commitments better. Might mean less blogging, but my need to spew is often high and my restraint is almost always low.....