Back in the days of yore, I used to talk about and rank pop culture a fair amount here. So, with my fave comic book character getting another fantastic movie, tis time to rank again. Spidey was always my favorite. I used to collect multiple spidey comic books every month pretty much for all of the 1980s and stopped only in the mid-1990s for two reasons: the increasingly expensive comic books were roughly a month's worth of diapers and it was diaper changing time; and clones. The spidey series went deep into clones, and I did not like that very much. Multiverses? That is something else entirely.
When the first Tom Holland movie came out, I ranked the Spidey movies. That was four spidey movies and a heap of appearances elsewhere ago. I will start each category with the previous ranking and now how it has changed both due to re-watching and the addition of the new movies. To be clear, there are now ten movies to rank: Tobey's S1, S2, S3; Andrew's S4, S5; Tom's S6, S7, S8, and Shameik's S9, S10.
Spoilers below the break.
I started with Villains last time:
Vulture (6) > Dr. Ock (2)> Green Gobin (1) > Lizard (4) > Sandman (3) > Rhino (5) > Goblin (3) > Venom (3) > Elektro (5)
Since then, Spidey's Euro-trip added Mysterio, No Way Home brought back all of the oldies from S1-5, S9 brought in a new Doc Ock, Kingpin, and Prowler, and the newest movie gave us ... The Spot! And depending on how you see him, Miguel O'Hara. I am tempted to move Alfred Molina's Doc Ock up higher as he was great in No Way Home. Elektro definitely gets more interesting in No Way Home. None of the villains from the Spider-verse really compete with the top three. I'd put Mysterio after Green Goblin as Jake was fun and interesting and sneaky, but not as compelling as Keaton's Vulture, Molina's Doc Ock, or Dafoe's Green Goblin.
So, after ten, we are at:
Vulture (6) > Dr. Ock (2,8)> Green Gobin (1,8) > Spot (10) > Mysterio (7) > Dr. Ock/Kingpin (9) > Prowler (9) > Lizard (4) > Sandman (3) > Lizard (4) >> Elektro (5,8) > Rhino (5) > Goblin (3) > Venom (3).
The next category was the Ladies:
MJ (1-3) > Gwen 4-5, Liz/Michelle (Incomplete) > Gwen Stacy 3
The Home series made a big dent here, but whether the Verse does or not depends on what this category is: best women co-leads or best love interests. If the former, Gwen/Spider-woman kicks. But if the latter, does the pining count as a relationship? Hmm. Of course, the ranking of Gwens as a separate category is easy: Gwen 9/10 >>>> Gwen 4-5 >> Gwen 3. Spider-woman is one of the very best spidey's (oops, spoiler), and otherverse Gwen has so much heart, guts, and sweetness. So, she's is definitely the best Gwen. Michelle/MJ was just more interesting and more dynamic than MJ. Given Gwen/SW's extra-abilities, she gets the nod.
Gwen/Spider-woman (9/10) > Michelle/MJ (6-8) > MJ (1-3) > Gwen 4-5, Liz/Michelle (Incomplete) > Gwen Stacy 3
Sidekicks
Ned was terrific in the subsequent Home movies, and, no, Miles's roommate does not want to be the guy in the chair. While there is a big team around Miles, there is no sidekick. Gwen would kick all of our butts if we referred to her as such.
High School/Teachers
The old ranking 6-8 > 1 > 3 pretty much holds up. The teachers in the Home series have more to do especially in the Euro-trip (Martin Starr!) plus the most excellent Cap videos. In Verse, the teachers barely make a dent. So no change here.
Action:
The old action: Bridge (1) > Train (2) > Washington Monument (6) > Climax (4).
The action sequences in Far From Home are fine, but nothing that is as memorable as the stuff above. No Way Home has some terrific sequences--the bridge where Doc Ock and Gobby show up and the climax, but nothing as thrilling as the stuff above. The Verse movies? Cartoon action is not the same, but the climax of Into (9) is pretty terrific--that Doc Ock gets hit by a bus and the fight with Kingpin really are terrific. In Across (10), I will have to watch again, as it had the space elevator sequence, which was pretty special, but nothing that ranks higher than the top three here.
Humor
Old humor: Homecoming > Spidey 1 > Amazing 1
This is where Spider-verses with all of their thought-balloons, Lego Spidey, many pointing spidey's come to the fore. From how Miles keeps sticking to stuff (a recurring theme in many of the movies, so a great point of comparison) to the many funny universes in the multiverse to Spider-ham, Across is the funniest Spidey movie of all time, with Into second. The canvas is just much vaster for funny stuff in an animated world.
Thus: Across (9) > Into (10) > Homecoming (6) > Far from Home (7) > Spidey 1 > No Way (8) > Amazing 1
JJJ
The old ranking: Spidey 1-2 > The Rest
The good news is JJJ is back for the second and third Home movies and in a very, very important way. And he also shows up in the latest Verse movie. I think I'd have to put the Home JJJ's ahead of the Spidey JJJ's because of centrality to the plot although the original Spidey JJJ is funnier.
No Way Home (8) > Far From Home (7) > Spidey 1-2 > Into the Spider-Verse > The rest
Aunt Mays
The old post: Marisa Tomei > Rosemary Harris > Sally Field and then Ok, Rosemary Harris > Marisa Tomei > Sally Field.
Hmmm, Marisa Tomei's Aunt May gains heft and comedic value in the third Home movie, sob. By being both Aunt May and Uncle Ben, she takes this competition. Lily Tomlin enters the fray in Spider-Verse as a very smart, knowing ally who is ahead of Miles and the rest pretty much all the time. She does not get much screen time in the second Verse, but she makes a hell of an impression in the first one.
Marisa Tomei > Lily Tomlin > Rosemary Harris > Sally Field
The previous ranking: Amazing 1 > Homecoming > Spidey 1/2 > The Rest
Speaking of crying, damn, no more Stan Lee's in these movies as his last appearance (see here for a nice ranking and links for all of them) was in Across (9). He did appear in the first Home movie, but it was in Across that had the most important line he ever said in a Spidey (or MCU) movie:
I did add Spidey 3 since the link above showed me a sweet movement with Stan concluding with one of his classic lines: Enuf said...
So, Across > Amazing 1 > Homecoming > Spidey 3 > Spidey 1/2 > The Rest
Betty Brant
The previous post: Elizabeth Banks (1-3) > Homecoming.
Does not change much as Angourie does not get that much to do except become Ned's love interest in Europe. And Betty either not in or memorable in the Verses So:
Spidey's 1-3 > Far > Homecoming.
Captain Stacey
Before: Amazing 1 > Spidey 3
Now, we have a new Captain Stacey who plays a central role in the new movie, but Denis Leary still rocks.
Amazing 1 > Into the Spider-Verse > Spidey 3
Best Music
The old ranking: 1/2 > 6 > the rest.
I still like the soaring music from the first few movies, but Verse is way ahead of the rest on making music integral. That Miles starts unsticking when he sings to himself, for example.
So: 1/2 >9/10 > 6-8 > the rest.
Fave Spidey
Old ranking: Tom Holland > Tobey Maguire > Andrew Garfield
I need the blog equivalent of a record scratch and change of direction that the Verse movies do because before we to the best Spidey category, we have to do something else that wasn't relevant before: the Best Peter Parker!
We have many more contenders thanks to the Spider-Verse having damn near infinite Peters even as the central Spidey is not a Peter. Jake Johnson's Peter B. Parker is so very funny, so very moving, the most-mentorish Peter there is. Chris Pine's Peter Parker is delightful in a very short spot at the start of Into the Spider-Verse. And, yes, Andrew Garfield makes a hell of a comeback in No Way Home, showing such depth and heart and hurt that he moves past Tobey. Tom Holland's Peter is still the most teenage, has some of the best quips and attitude, shows heaps of heart in the three movies here plus his bits in the Avengers movies--his debut at the Berlin airport stole that scene.
Tom Holland > Jake Johnson > Andrew Garfield > Tobey Maguire > Chris Pine
And if you think that was complicated, the Fave Spidey is even more so. Spider-Verse does not just add Miles's Spidey, but Spider-woman, Noir Spider-Man, Hobie-Brown > Spider-ham, the aforementioned Peters, Peni, and all the rest. If conveying heart and humor and doing the Spider action stuff well are the keys, then it is a close race between Shameik's Miles Spidey and Tom's Spidey. But then there is the ballet of Spider-woman. Gwen Stacey's Spider-woman is just otherworldly in the way she moves, in how great she is in a fight. But she is not so snarky mid-fight, which puts her behind the two young dudes.
Shameik Moore > Tom Holland > Gwen Stacey > Peter B. Parker > Andrew Garfield > Tobey Maquire > Noir Spider-Man > Spider-ham > Hobie Brown > Jessica Drew > Karan Soni > Peni> Spider-Byte > Ben Reilly
Best use of Bruce Campbell
Not used at all in the non-Raimi movies, and what a mistake that is. Glad to have this handy video presenting all three appearances. Makes it hard to pick. Probably the usher...
So, where do they all stand?
Original ranking:
1 > 6 (Homecoming) > 2 > 4 (Amazing 1) > 3 > 5 (Amazing 2)
Now? Hmmm. The big question is whether Into is better than Across, because there is just so much fun, heart, silliness, and action packed into the two animated Milo Spidey tales, plus the advantage of having heaps of Spideys that only No Way Home Can Compete. And, yes, No Way Home, because it brings all of the live action Spidey movies together, it is ahead of all of the rest of them. Just having the three Spidey's chat about what it is to be Spider-men is just terrific stuff. So, which Verse wins? For now, the first one, but I will have to re-watch the second one when it comes out, freezing lots of scenes to get all of the stuff that flew by. It is a pretty close call, and I can see why folks might think Across is Empire--better than the original.
For now,
Into the Spider-verse (9) > Across the Spider-Verse (10) > No Way Home (8) > Spidey 1 > Homecoming > Spidey 2 > Far From Home > Amazing 1 (4) > Spidey 3 > Amazing 2 (5).
To be clear, meh Spidey has thus far been better than much of the MCU, and great Spidey is better than all of it. Enuf said.
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