Saideman's Semi-Spew: Competing Magical Places: Disney Anew and Universal Yow!

Frozen butterbeer is
best, but had much brain
freeze.

This week, I got to go back!!! I hadn't been to Disney World and Universal Florida since 2012 (when we went south to both sell the house in Montreal and celebrate the new job). This time, instead of Mrs. Spew and Future Hollywood Executive Assistant Spew, I went with my brother and my cousin's family. At a family occasion last year, I learned that my Floridian cousin and his wife don't like to do the most thrilling rides, leaving their kids frustrated during their visits. So, I made an unbreakable vow the next time they went to Universal, I would join them. My brother agreed to crash the party AND wanted us to do Disney World ahead of the U visit, as we had long wanted to do the super-expensive Star Wars experience ... that no longer exists. We had a blast. So, I thought I would share some intel and also rank the rides.

First, we learned that to have the best time requires spending even more money. Yep, the tickets are expensive enough, but to spend less time waiting and more time enjoying, well, more money, more money, more money. For Disney, we were staying off of the property, so this meant paying more money for parking--preferred parking put one much closer and also got one out of a bit of traffic. We didn't do this and didn't really need to do this for Hollywood Studio, but did payoff for Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom. We did Epcot on the MK day by taking a monorail to the monorail station and then over to Epcot. Genie plus, which costs money, allows one to reserve a spot on some rides for later in the day--it requires some strategery to make this work best as you can only set one reservation at a time until some time passes or until you do that ride. Virtual waiting is still waiting but more pleasant. Lightning lanes are for some rides--you actually pay additional money to get onto that ride for a specific slot. It has limited utility as they fill up quickly plus see the next paragraph. For Universal, we stayed at a Universal hotel, which cost more but came with an unlimited express pass, which allowed us to go through the fast lane at most (not all) rides.

Second, the parks lie a bit. For the lightning lanes at Disney, for instance, if you are off property, you can't sign up until after the first hour or two of the morning, which means that those who are staying on property can sign up ahead of you, which means you might not have a slot available for you until late in the day. We didn't do Avatar (more below) because the first slot was around 5:30, and we had plans to leave the park by then. For Universal, we were told that the park would open up an hour early for those staying at the hotels onsite, but what we didn't know was that meant only one half of universal (the Isles of Adventure side) and only three rides would be open for that first hour--Hagrid, Velocicoaster, and Hogwarts Forbidden Journey. Roughly 90% of those coming in early went to the first ride, which quickly meant significant waits. Uncool--that they funneled all the early people to those rides.

Third, discretion is the better part of amusement park enjoyment. We had no kids with us for the Disney days so we could avoid rides that weren't really in our win-set. We were looking for the more thrilling rides, so we could do each of the Disney parks in half a day, more or less. We stayed longer at Hollywood Studios because I had made a reservation three months earlier (which is what one needs to do) to get a couple of spots at Oga's Cantina at the Star Wars part of HS. I figured I wouldn't want to drink some funky alien cocktails earlier in the day (Narrator: sure you would). So, we stayed there longer than we needed. That was ok, because the lines at Star Tours were short, and each ride is different (more below). Anyhow, we got through each park quickly by avoiding stuff that didn't interest us and not getting too committed to incredibly long waits when Genie+, Lightning Lanes, Express Pass wouldn't help.

Fourth, some advance planning does help. Specifically food reservations. We made some reservations at the parks and associated places (Disney Springs) and mostly found excellent food. I also learned of First Watch, which is an excellent breakfast chain that has food for those seeking healthy fare and for the stuff I like. Oga's Cantina was not as special as we thought--no mid-drink brawls with folks losing their arms and no alien adventures, but the drinks were excellent and the bartender was great. Next time I do Disney (CA or FL), I will again make reservations for Oga's, just earlier in the day.

Indeed, one consistency across the two parks--the crew/casts were terrific. We met a lot of very friendly, patient, often silly folks working the various places (DeSantis is an idiot as damn these places employ a lot of people). The people at these parks elevated the experience. And, yeah, it not being summer helped a lot. Another is that each park had plenty of rides with taped appearances by the characters, and I was kind of surprised to see how they got damn near everybody. I asked my daughter about this--of course, each actor gets paid for their labor--but I wondered if they are required by their big movie deals to do this stuff. We did bump into one set of rude employees--First Order folks who stayed in character. Not just at Rise of Resistance but also patrolling the Star Wars land at Hollywood Studies. My brother almost got sliced in half by Kylo Ren.

Gary Oldman?

Speaking of people, the other attendees were pretty great as well. Folks were friendly and very much engaged in having a great time. I especially loved the herds of HP cosplayers who looked terrific. I swear I thought I saw Gary Oldman as Sirius Black, the Trelawneys and Umbridges were fantastic (see more
below), and yes, the cosplayers ranged in age with many older ones. While JKR has done much to taint the Potter legacy, the love and the silliness the fans have for that universe and for its characters made me feel less bad about having some of my money end up in the hands of JKR. I will have to write a separate post about that aspect--what HP means in a world where the author spews out hate. On the bright side, I saw more than a few gay couples at both parks, so the places are still welcoming even if the governor and the author are awful. Both places had very diverse audiences--lots of different languages, people from all over.

For the rankings below, my prejudices/guidelines is that I want to be thrilled and amused so more points for fast/swerving/looping/silly.

Disney

Guardians of Galaxy (Epcot): basically space mountain with cars that can move and turn, great soundtrack. Not as funny as GoG tower of terror at Disneyland, but just a great ride
Tron (MK): Awkward seat as you "ride" a cycle but heaps of fun. Needs to integrate throwing disks.
Star Tours (Hollywood): The oldest of these rides. Each ride is different as they have something like 66 combinations. Each ride is physically the same--the car goes up, down, tilts, etc--but the screen stuff changes with each ride visiting two planets/experiences in the SW universe. In our five rides, we got a couple of repeats--we went to Hoth twice in our first two rides, for instance, but we got five different combos. We saw scenes from all nine of the movies except Attack of the Clones and, yes, Star Wars. They had plenty of stuff from the prequels and the sequels. The second scene would be introduced by a different character talking about new coordinates to get our spy to the right place--we saw young Leia twice (her intro led to the same place), older Lando, Yoda, and one more. We kept going back as the ride was fun and different each time, and the lines were short.
Everest (Animal Kingdom): a fun coaster ride through a mountain that gets interrupted by a Yeti, which meant for some backwards and some drops. No loops but a thrilling ride.
Space Mountain (MK): an oldie but a goodie--a fast coaster in the dark.
Captured by the First Order!
Rise of the Resistance (HS): somewhat overrated. It had the longest lines. I was determined to do it since it was broken (it breaks often) when we tried to do it at Disneyland. It is a two stage ride--there is a Star Tours like shuttle that gets seized by the First Order. Then you exit that and are surrounded by tons of Storm Troopers (not living ones, just statues, but scary and incredibly lifelike). The heart of the ride has us escaping from the bad guys, so we are getting shot at while our driverless car spins and moves all over the place. It was fun and cool, but not the best ride at the place (a common theme)
Kilimanjaro Safari (Animal): a truck took us deeper into Animal Kingdom so we were driven around a bunch of animals--pretty close to some giraffes, and right up to a rhino that blocked our path. It was really quite cool.
Fast track (Epcot): pretty fast--"testing" a new specification. My brother liked this more than I did, but it was a lot of fun. Not much surrounding humor or whatever--but a good ride.
Smuggler's Run (HS): I had done this before at Disneyland--you get to either help pilot the Falcon, serve as engineer, or shoot at stuff. It is like being in the cockpit of the Star Tours with some illusion of control. Tis a fun ride but you can't see that much from the back and hitting the buttons distracts a bit.
Dinosaur (Animal): One rides a vehicle in the past to steal a dinosaur for a mad scientist. Why does it have to be timed to be seconds before the asteroid that extinguishes the dinosaurs hits? No idea. Fun but not as thrilling as the rides above
Buzz Light Year Ranger Spin (MK). You sit and one person spins the ride while both shoot to kill aliens.
Soaring (Epcot): riding a glider over California. Fun but pretty calming

Excellent shows: Disney Pixar shorts at MK, Indiana Jones Stunt Show at HS. The three shorts were terrific even as I was ready to dislike the Mickey one. The Pixar was very pixar-esque. All three were just great short movies and a welcome rest of the sore feet (my brother's step count was mostly in the high 20,000's). The Indy show was great--heaps of Indy goodness and much Marion spunkiness. I love the mini-plane they used"

Overrated: Haunted Mansion and the Navi river ride were slow, boring, and wildly overrated. I would not do either of these again.

Some rides were closed, and some were simply too difficult to line up. We were not willing to wait 2-3 hours for a ride. The former were Aerosmith Roller Coaster and Remy's Ratatouille Adventure. The latter were: Avatar, Remy's Ratatouille Adventure

Universal:

No wonder
the raptors were
so angry
VelociCoaster (Isle of Adventure): simply the best roller-coaster I have been on. Fast and twisty from the start, good loops, plunges and swings while approaching the water. At one point, it starts to tilt left but then spins right. Just a very thrilling ride.
Hulk (IofA): similar to VC but not quite as twisty or fast. Very good loops and twists.
Spider-man (IofA): 4D ride--3D spidey lands on your car, shaking it and then shaking it again as he leaps off. Has a great sense of humor, the pumpkin bombs from the Hobgoblin bring real heat. Only regret is that it is generic versions, not the Molina Dr. Ock or the Jimmie Fox Electro and so forth. This ride has been around a long time, but it still works really well. The Transformers ride is newer but pales in comparison in a big, big way. Why? Story and character matter (see the above Star Tours).
Gringotts (UniFlorida): I have been waiting a long time for this as we imagined this ride when we visited 12 years ago--when the park only had rides that built on the first four books/movies. They did a very nice job of realizing the Gringotts breakout scene. The cart was fast and spinny but not too scary for my youngest relative. It had a bit more juice than the most similar Forbidden Journey. Oh and a nice job with the dragon.
Forbidden Journey (IofA): like Gringotts, a 3D adventure, this one giving you the feeling of flying a broom through the grounds of Hogwarts. I did yell Expecto Patronum when the Dementers appeared, but, of course, I didn't have my wand as they made us put all of our loose stuff in lockers (a recurring theme).
Simpsons (UF): Remains a great combo of silly and thrill. The entire ride makes fun of the amusement park experience, which makes it even better.
Revenge of the Mummy (UF): another 4Dish ride with lots of ups, downs, and all the rest as we are chased by scrabs and mummies.
Dr Doom's Fearfall (IofA): old ride, slung up, drop down. Very basic, still works, and good views.
Hagrid (IofA): So hard to get on this ride as it is very popular. But it is not that special. It is cool that the two riders, one on the motorcycle, one in the side car, have somewhat different experiences, but, otherwise, it is a fine roller-coaster.
Men in Black (UF): It is fine, but not that memorable.
Race thru NY with Jimmy Fallon (UF): You are in a car racing thru NY with Fallon. It is a fun ride, but nothing special.
Minions (UF): I did both Minions rides with my younger relative (what is the daughter of a cousin anyway?). One involved shooting from a standing position that moved along a conveyor built and was hard on the hands--the kid beat us all. The other ride? I am having a hard time remembering. Not a good sign.
Hogwarts Express: Goes back and forth between the two HP sections--Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley. Useful for getting between the two parks and amazing design of the scenery. Not thrilling but a great realization of a key scene in pretty much every book except the last. Oh, and going to Hogsmeade has different stuff happening along the way than going in the other direction.
Fast and Furious/Skull Island: Both are ok, nothing special, basically versions of each other.
Transformers: Supposed to be the equivalent of the Spidey ride, but just too loud, too many robots I can't keep straight. I get it, the bad guy wants the All Spark.

Didn't do Rip It Rocket as it was only open for a little while on the second day and we missed our shot. River Adventure was also out for the count. We weren't in it to get wet, so not a huge loss.

That Star Tours is old and rocks and Transformers is new and doesn't speaks to the importance of story, dialogue, characters, not just whether the thing one is in goes up and down a lot. So, my bias is towards the HP and Marvel stuff, why the Simpsons is still deceptively one of the best rides, and why I don't are much for the newer stuff--their IP is just not thrilling to me.

Oh, and if I had to combine my rankings to produce a top five:

Guardians of the Galaxy
Velocicoaster
Hulk
Spidey
Tron

One quibble with Universal--they seem to have the rights to Back to the Future, but other than some merch, one Dolorean, and Doc Brown, they don't really do anything with it. It is begging to be used in a ride and then some. Given that they still have a lame section that might be under renovation for some kind of Greece/Atlantis thing that my family scoffed at 12 years ago and wondered if it would be the site of expanded HP, it seems obvious that BTTF should get some love and space. But as Doc Brown would say, the future hasn't been written yet.

And, yes, you can meet your heroes. Mando was super friendly, and Grogu cooed cutely.

Spidey was very much a friendly neighborhood hero. I got to chat with him before we took a picture, and he was super nice. I misheard the woman at the checkout register, sounded like she said she was his girlfriend. When I asked, she said "I wish." I suggested that his girlfriends often have much drama and trauma in their lives, and she acknowledged that is a good point.

Green eggs and ham was not the best meal I had, but the one that I just had to eat. It was pretty good.

Finally, here's a few shots of various HP cosplayers. As I mentioned, I am far more ambivalent about HP thanks to JKR's hateful stuff of the past several years. Sure, the representation in the books was not good, and the goblins were always a wee bit anti-semitic. But the heart of the books focused on love and tolerance. And I could not help but see how many people seemed to get that as they not only wore their cosplay stuff with great panache, but as you can see from the pics, there was so much camaraderie and, yes, love.