Political Science Player Cards:
What would I add to the card?
Lifetime Citations would seem to be an obvious stat, akin to Runs in baseball, if the goal is to get stuff out there. This would be the old school stat to go along with the more sabermetric-y H-index. One could also have Cites per year or Cites per Paper.
Total Number of Co-Authors or CA: I think I might be a league leader.
I would replace Home Runs with Major University Press Books or MUPB's.
Students Placed at Tenure Track Slots: SPATTS
Average Media Apperances: Number of appearances on radio, tv and newspapers per year, averaged over five years. Mine is going to spiral downwards now that the Canadians will be largely out of harm's way in Afghanistan.
Involuntary Major Service Obligations, such as chair, associate dean, director of graduate studies, etc: IMSO.
Any other suggestions?
Revised/Added Rotisserie/Fantasy Political Science Rules
These supplement/revise the classic rules.
Publishing (most of the original rules are still quite good)
+5 points if an article or book will be published two years after it has been accepted for publication.
+2 points for having an article you have revised and resubmitted getting another R&R at the same journal
+1 pity point for getting an article rejected after going through the R&R process twice
-10 if an article is destined for a journal that stops publishing for a year (the World Politics rule)
I would change the secondary category of AJPS, JoP, WPQ (what is now PRQ), and SSQ to drop SSQ but add the top journals in every subfield (IO, ISQ, WP, CP, CPS, Political Theory)
Conference Participation additions:
-1 if the paper was presented elsewhere
-3 if someone walks out in a huff during the middle of your presentation
+5 if someone ask a question so absurd that it leaves you flummoxed, like blaming the xenophobia of 1990s Europe on the Ancient Egyptians (yes, it happened to Bill Ayres and myself)
-1 if you give the paper to the discussant within 24 hours of the conference
-10 if you actually expect the discussant to read your paper while at the conference
The networking division of the rules are a bit obsolete as there is no paper room or papers to buy any more, so some changes are in order:
-5 The conference is held in your town
-1 Spend more time in the book room than in panels
+1 Flirt with book rep. Tripled if book rep flirts back. Multiplied by negative two if the player is married
+.5 For each doodad/swag one picks up in the book room (the Steve Greene rule).
+1 Each time someone looking for you assumes that you are at the conference hotel's bar
+3 Each time they are right
+3 Each time splitting the bill costs you at least 1.5 times what you would have paid on your own at a restaurant during a conference
-5 Each time splitting the bill saves you money
+20 For each meal where the participants all worked together previously but no longer at that old school (the ex-TTU faculty club rule)
+35 For bringing chocolate chip cookies for roommate to share (the Bill Ayres's wife rocks rule).
+10 Hosting the annual poker game
+20 Generously funding the winnings of the other poker players (the drunk BV rule)
-50 Bring to the poker game a new, disruptive player (the dead to me BV rule)
-3 Using one's relatively large annual salary to bully junior professors and grad students at the poker game (the Pat James rule)
+1 for each radio appearance
+2 for each TV appearance
+5 for each appearance lasting more than 5 minutes
+1 for each op-ed piece published in a regional newspaper
+5 for each op-ed piece published in the New York Times or Wall Street Journal
-5 for each op-ed published in the Washington Post.
+50 points for each appearance on The Daily Show or Colbert Report
-1000 for any friendly appearance on a Fox ranting show (O'Reilly, Beck)
+ 1000 for an unfriendly reference on a Fox ranting show--the Frances Fox Piven rule
+5 for first blog.
-2 points for each additional blog (The Wayne Norman Rule)
-2 points for a blog that is updated less than monthly
-3 points for an unfocused blog that combines political science with commentary about pop culture, sports, whatever (The Spew Rules)
-5 points if you spend more time on a silly blog post than the academic goal of the day (like revising a chapter)
+1 for having a twitter account
+1 for tweeting at least once a day
+1 for every 25 followers
-25 if one has more robo-followers linked to illicit sites than normal followers
+3 points if someone with more than 1k followers either retweets or responds to your tweet
+1 for having a facebook account
-1 for each current undergrad that is a FB friend (the Creepy Rule)
+1 for each "like" of a snarky comment you posted on someone's page (the Saideman really is a narcissist rule)
+10 for posting as oneself on the Political Science Job Rumor's site--the Mike Munger Rule.
-3 for each anonymous post on PSJR if one has already posted as oneself