Sunday, March 27, 2016

Figuring Out Trump

Mrs. Spew and I were chatting over dinner, and we realized that Trump and his "Mexico will build the wall" claims is perhaps the highest form of Underwear Gnome Theory:

Which, of course, led to the some semi-wild speculations:
  • Is Donald Trump actually an underwear gnome?  That his first step is making outlandish claims and his goal is world domination, but how he gets there, he does not know?
  • That Donald Trump is actually a tool, perhaps even a robot, of the underwear gnomes?  It would explain much since his programming kind of sucks (see transcripts of his WashPo, NYT interviews).
  • That Trump is neither gnome nor tool of gnomes, but considers South Park to be the best source of strategy?  This would explain his constant use of the Chewbacca Defense.
Indeed, if the key to understanding Trump can be found in old South Park episodes, we can surely expect that Trump will blame Canada during the fall campaign, out Tom Cruise and Kanye West, feed Bill Clinton to Hillary, and then perhaps send some marionettes to North Korea.

To be clear, if Trump does not do these things, it probably means that he is, indeed, a robot created by the Underwear Gnomes.  Yep, it is time to remain ever vigilant about one's underwear.

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