Saturday, July 28, 2018

Donald Trump's Horcruxes: Do We Need Psychological Detectives?

Lots of discussion about Trump's horcruxes after his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was destroyed.  This is all entertaining and good but somewhat problematic.  Sure, Trump is evil like Voldemort in some key ways:
Trump                                           Voldemort
White Supremacist                        Pure blood over muggles and mixed blood folks
Short temper                                  Short temper
Sells out loyalists                          Sells out (kills) loyalists, sorry, Snape
Has crappy allies                           Has crappy allies
Facilitated by craven (Fudge)       Facilitated by craven (GOP)
Media empower him                     Media empower him (Skeeter, Daily Prophet)

So, I get it.  BUT, here's a big but: Voldemort truly was strategic, developing plans and schemes that had multiple steps building towards clear goals.  Trump?  Not so much. 

But the real question is: do we need to engage in the same kind of psychological investigation and detective work that Dumbledore and then Harry practiced to determine where Voldy put pieces of his soul to understand Trump's decision-making? 

Voldemort was attached to key relics that had magical power and symbolism--Hufflepuff's cup, Ravenclaw's diadem, Gaunt's ring, Slytherin's locket, plus the snake, the diary, and, oops, Harry.  And he mostly hid them well and with protection.  See Dumbledore's hand.  Ick. 

Trump?  The first thing to consider is that Trump need not have seven--that was Voldemort's attachment to a number with magic resonance.   We'd have to figure out how many pieces of Trump's soul he wants to split off (assuming he ever had a soul to begin with).  Since Trump has such a lousy memory, I doubt he would want more than three or four, but he might create more because he forgot about previous ones.  See, Trump is hard to figure out.   So, the horcrux hunter would just have to keep trying to find them until they think they have done enough...  tricky.  I think more investigation into Trump's background would be required to figure out the number. 

Assuming three or four, the question then is where?  Trump is not as crafty as Voldemort, and, indeed he probably would broadcast the locations.  But he distrusts.  So, fol have said Pence's brain is a horcrux, but Trump doesn't trust Pence nor care that much about him.    So, probably not.  Ivanka?  Is Ivanka kind of like Voldemort's snake?  He clearly has much affection for her (too much!), just as Voldemort seemed to have some affection for the snake.  And Trump does keep her nearby.

The second probable location would be Trump's bed--he hates sleeping away from home.  He always cranky on the road, so that is my guess.  Unless Trump Tower in NYC is a horcrux?  But I am not sure any pieces of Trump's soul are big enough to make for a building-sized horcrux.  Tough call.

The third probable location might be his remote control.  He is so attached to television that he would probably put a piece of his soul in the object that controls his tv.  Sure, this could be lost or stolen easily, but then again, Trump ain't that bright and tends to hand his enemies (Mueller) the weapons they need to destroy him.  "Oh, you  need a vorpal sword containing basilick poison?  Don't reach into that hat. Just take mine."

The fourth?  Again, not sure Trump can count to four (the most certain way to tell if Trump is lying is if he mentions a number), but just in case, I think the fourth horcrux might be the pee tape, and, yes, it is out of his control.  Ooops.  So, the Russian threat may be more serious than just embarassing him by releasing the tape, but destroying it and one key shred of Trump's soul.

Of course, all of this assumes Trump had a soul at some point, and that is really the part of this entire discussion that is least realistic.

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