Anyhow, I was so confused by the Maoist take on my move to Ottawa that I thought I should take a second look at it and make sense of it. Below is the MARP post and my thoughts in red (since they think that I am revolutionary?!):
Beloved Comrade in Political Science Defects to Capitol of Counterrevolutionary GreedThe news of Professor Steven Saideman’s departure from McGill comes as solemn news to his many devoted minions and zealous compatriots in the Department of Political Science. Not only will his stately hair be sorely missed by the proud young flag-bearers of revolution whom his knowledge has so impacted, but inquiries have been raised as to where exactly he is going, and why.
Stately hair? I think all credibility just got sucked out the window. I would never describe my hair as stately. In retreat? Sure. Disorderly? Absolutely. Boring? You betcha. Stately? The only thing I have ever considered to be stately is Wayne Manor.
The former faithful comrade has signalled to sources that he is indeed headed to the bastion of Arch-Right rhetoric itself, Carleton University, in the pig-controlled metropolis of Ottawa. The Department of Political Science has not commented on the purpose of his departure, but followers of Saideman are assured that he has noble goals.
Noble goals? Well, I am moving in part to make more money and be taxed less. I think those would be ignoble goals for a vanguard of the proletariat. I am also moving to be more involved in policy circles, but if the Maoists have read my op-eds over the years, I am pretty sure they would think that I am part of the military-industrial-academic complex, with my soul purchased by defense dollars with my positions supporting the deployment of the Canadian Forces against righteous folks such as the Taliban.
Interviewed members of the cult to his heroic personality have expressed faith that Professor Saideman’s purposes in the City of Capitalist Filth are to remove the Albertan Counterrevolutionary Pig-dog himself, Prime Minister Steven Harper, and replace him with an ambitious political apprentice of Dear Leader Knight.
Where do members of my cult of personality hang out? I have not seen my picture plastered on any walls, no murals. Really, how does one find these folks? I'd like to thank them before I leave and perhaps sacrifice them along the way to better mark my trails and trials. Who is the Dear Leader Knight? Any relationship to the Dark Knight? To Heath Ledger? To the Knights Who Say Ni!
The members shuddered at the name of the blood-run city, which strikes disgust and loathing into the hearts of all noble proletarians, and yet Saideman has released clear hints to his intentions. Not only has he broadcasted the existence of a past group on the Socialist Networking site facebook that lauded his merit as a Stalinist dictator, but is also spending several lectures of his Civil-Military Relations course demonstrating his vast knowledge of the processes of military coups.
We did just play Junta, a simulation of a coup, to prepare ourselves for seizing power somewhere.
Though his revolutionary merit and brave defamation of capital have long been subjects of admiration by campus cadres, it is likely that his sudden departure is due to the growth in Fascist control of Politbureau operations, and corruption of area youths by the omniscient influence of Dr. Morton J. Mendelsohn. Escalation of his puppeteering in university affairs have drawn significant attention from Party leaders, and growing pig indulgence by Rightist power-brokers clearly must be purged at the source.
Who is this Mendelsohn person? Apparatchiks involved in Student life do not intersect with professors since we only impact student life accidentally through strategically timing exams at the worst possible times. Oh, I wish I had a cadre or two to mobilize for my revolutionary purposes. My departure is perhaps the least sudden in academic history, as I had the offer last August (2011) and will be leaving Montreal in the summer of 2012. If that is sudden, well, then much of McGill's bureaucracy can be considered speedy.
MARP supports Saideman’s campaign to destroy the enemies of Communism, wishes him the swiftness and grace of the Revolutionary Spirit, and thanks him in the name of the Dear Leader Knight.
You're welcome. Alas, this post will destroy my previous reputation as a conservative hack for being the most pro-war professor in Montreal. Damn.
And yes, I am really confused about a website that is supposed to be both a parody and a mouthpiece for the partiers/occupiers.
Their website is a parody, yes? Aren't parodies supposed to be...funny?
Confused by a mixture of satire and actual political rhetoric? I think you haven't been watching enough Colbert, sir.
A1: I do think their site is funny. But, A2: Colbert, they are not. Colbert is the opposite of what he is spouting, critical of FOX. Are partiers/occupiers clearly not buying into their rhetoric? Their mixture is not nearly that clear. Stately hair? Please ;)
They're insane and I give you kudos for attempting to decipher the random nonsense they produce.
Sad to hear the move to Ottawa is already underway. Best of luck!
This is what you get for co-authoring with a revolutionary terrorist. At least I won you friends somewhere (of course, I have no idea who these people are either - and I'm even more on the Dark Side than you are).
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