Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Crime in Canada? Yes, but Very Polite [Update]

My daughter is headed downtown this morning as her school has a field trip to a courthouse to see a hearing.  My wife is a bit worried that the courthouse might be a dangerous place, but I assured her that Montreal criminals (and Canadian ones) are almost always quite polite.  A few examples:

  • Car-jacking is unheard of up here--car thieves are kind enough here to steal my car while I am at work, and the police/train system are kind enough not to install any security apparati in the commuter train parking lots.  
  • I drove past the scene of a double murder the other day on the way to my ultimate frisbee league.  Murder does not seem polite, but it was apparently a hitman killing two people, including another double-murderer.  While it did leave an unsightly car akew on a small embankment between the McDonalds and the road, no bystanders were hurt.  Such a considerate and accurate killer, apparently.
  • There have been something like twenty, yes, twenty, firebombings of cafes in Montreal since last summer.  This is apparently part of some competition between/within the mob--dueling protection rackets (not just a metaphor for rebel/government competition).  I could be wrong, but few, if anyone, has been hurt despite the significant number of molotov cocktails flying about.
So, I imagined the following scenario at the hearing my kid is witnessing--to determine whether the accused is competent to stand trial for arson/murder:
Accused: "If it would please the court, I would like to request an opportunity to act out"
Judge: "What do you have in mind?"
Accused: "I would like to punch one of the kid's witnessing this hearing."
Judge: "Now now, perhaps later, let me consider that during the lunch break."
Accused: "Thank you, sir."
Criminals may be ugly (HT to Will Moore), but they seem to be quite polite here in Canada.

Obviously, I am making fun of some serious stuff, but is that a crime? Hmmm, Canadian laws on speech are a bit less free than the US.  Never mind.

Update: My daughter came back and was not punched by an civil or not so civil alleged arsonist/murderers.  However, she did report that most of the folks alleged to commit crimes do seem to have gel in their hair.  This seems like a dangerous practice for an arsonist, but it might be their best effort to overcome the ugly problem cited above.

1 comment:

Spew Jr. said...

Lol he did not punch anyone in the face. In fact, he didnt act out except for some fidgeting. The only time he ever spoke was when the judge asked if it was ok that they talk in both french and english during the case. He didnt seem to mind.